Can you imagine? You’re planning your wedding, and for hours now, you’ve been scrolling through Pinterest trying to find the right flower arrangements. You’ve also had three discussions just this week on whether the napkins will be ivory or white. And you can also tell me what the difference is between the six types of pasta you want to include on your menu.
But how long has it been since you’ve seriously discussed with someone as to where your life is headed after the cake has been cut?
If you’re feeling the stress of planning a wedding, you are not alone. Many times, the stress is not related to the flowers or food but something much larger.
The Real Reason You’re Stressed
There is a common cause for couples to feel overwhelmed. It is because they spend almost all their time planning for their wedding day, and almost no time planning for their marriage.
Let’s think about this for a moment. For every hour spent discussing seating charts, how many hours are spent discussing how to manage finances together? Or what a real fight looks like for you two?
A wise friend once told me a great piece of advice. For every one hour spent planning your wedding, spend two hours planning your marriage. It is a great stress-reliever, because it reminds you why you’re doing all of this in the first place.
How to Focus on Your Marriage (Without Ditching the Wedding Plans)
So, how do you balance planning a beautiful day in Italy with building a strong future? It’s simpler than you think. Here are three gentle ways to keep the main thing, the main thing.
- Go on Dates (With a “No Wedding Talk” Rule)
This is quite an enjoyable thing to do. You should purposely set aside some moments free of wedding chatter as the ceremony day approaches. For instance, you may meet up for coffee, take a walking tour, or have a picnic. Exchange questions whose answers you don’t know yet with each other. What is a dream you still have? Which memory is the one that puts a smile on your face every time you recall it? It also reinforces the fact that planning a wedding is only one of many things that make you a couple and best friends.
- Have the “Deep Talk” Dates
Getting married is a big deal and shares your life with someone else. Many couples do not have some of the deeper and tougher conversations until after they are married. Conversations can be fun and experiencing a vision for your future can make them easier to have. There are many resources on the internet that will share easy questions to ask or you could take a pre-marriage course together. Questions like these could help you have good foundation to begin your marriage:
- How do we handle being stressed or angry?
- What do we envision a happy home to be like?
- How we will we combine our 2 families and traditions during the holidays?
- What are we each hopeful for in 5 years?
The conversations will build a strong foundation, which is stronger than the structure that will be used for your wedding ceremony.
- Consider a Wedding Planner to Give You Back Your Time
One thing that may relieve you from the stress is that you don’t really have to handle everything by yourself. Besides, you can’t be expected to turn into an expert event planner in no time while you’re still working and handling your personal life. A wedding planner then becomes your best friend in this matter.
Actually, how much does a wedding planner get paid isn’t simply having someone who can oversee the vendors. Rather, it’s really that you are purchasing time and peace of mind for yourself. Firstly, a great wedding planner takes care of all those stressful details – the schedules, the coordination among the suppliers, the small mishaps – enabling you to focus on each other. Besides, when you are not tied down with the details, your mind is freed up to make connections, to visualize, and to really get into the spirit of your engagement.
The Beautiful Balance
At Mr and Mrs Wedding in Italy, we believe that your wedding day should be a happy celebration of your love story. And we know that the most beautiful wedding is the one in which the couple is relaxed, connected, and excited for their future together.
But have the conversations that matter. Dream about your life together. And let the experts help you bring your dream day to life without stress.
Why? Well, because the best “I do” is the one that leads to a long, happy marriage.
